Saturday 27 November 2010

The Lazgi Legend from Horezm

  The Lazgi Legend from Horezm

                          

Welcome and listen to this music. It is speaking. It is speaking about suffering and pain. It is singing about separation and loss.
Music…
Love….
Suffering….
What is it that draws them all together?
Is it something spiritual, a gift from above?….from God?

Today we will tell you another great story.
Today we will try to reveal the pain a musician has in his heart.

Many years ago, Xiva, the ancient capital of Horezm, was famous along the Great Silk Road, famous for its embroideries, rugs, tapestries and ceramics. Merchants came there from all over the world…. Horezm is also a land of legends and stories and from the time when Xiva was celebrated from China to Paris and Rome, comes the following story; it will break your heart.

           In the king’s harem was a woman of such astonishing and angelic beauty that the moon felt shy to look upon her, and by day, her smile shone with more radiance even than the sun. Her lips were lovelier than a rose and her long hair was like a beautiful waterfall. When she walked through the garden, the nightingales swooned and the roses curtseyed; flowers sprang up from her footsteps.
          Her fame spread far and wide, and many a foreign prince wished to buy her.
          However, the king was in love with her himself. In fact he was so much in love that he could neither sleep at night nor eat in the day. The woman was blessed with a particular gift that made her different from all the others and beyond value for the king; she could dance and with her dancing would soothe his heart. Secretly she was in love with him too.              
          However, as a mere slave in his harem, she was afraid to declare herself. Unable to speak with anybody about her feelings, she expressed all her sorrow through dance. Every movement, even her glances, bore witness to her love.
       At night she spoke only to the stars, and by day, would sit and weep by the lake. The fish played in the water to make her happy, the birds sang for her in the trees for they alone understood her suffering. Watching them, she would gather fresh ideas for her dancing.
      Every day she breathed new life into her dances on the carpet. However the other women in the harem, indeed many people in the castle, grew increasingly jealous and began to hate her.
       The king could not proclaim his love either and he too would walk in the garden, talking to the birds and the fish in the lake. The poor animals saw the love of the king and the woman, and felt sorry they could not bring them together. For this reason, the birds always sang sadly.
       On one particular day when the woman was walking through the garden, a snake slithered by her feet. A guard rushed over and began beating it with a stick, believing the snake would bite her. In fact the snake had only come near because it was in love with her too! The snake writhed in agony. The guard picked it up and threw it in the lake. This happened so rapidly that she was unable to save the creature. As she watched the snake still writhing in the water, it seemed to dance the fight between life and death. Finally it died and sank to the bottom of the lake.
      Afterwards she felt guilty for the snake’s tragic fate, and her sufferings became more intense; she began to wilt like an unwatered flower. The king noticed, but could not approach her. So he ordered his ministers to take the women of his harem to the country. They were taken to the mountains, which were full of poppies; the king’s dancer was transported in a sumptuous carriage with white horses, favoured like a princess. The other women became even more jealous and their hatred increased.
       At a party, while everyone was enjoying food, wine, dancing and music, the dancer was asked to collect some poppies, which grew by steep cliffs. As she was picking the flowers someone pushed her….
    Oh cruel life, so much suffering for one poor woman, was this not enough? Her arms and her legs were broken, but she was alive. She realized why she had been pushed but could not betray her tormentors and remained silent. She had a wise heart, like an angel.
    However she wept bitterly, for she was no longer able to dance for her beloved king: this meant she could neither express her love, nor even see him. They brought her back to the castle, groaning, moaning; that very evening she was due to dance for the king and his guests. she thought: if I cannot see him or dance for him, I must dance to be able to see him for the last time and to say goodbye/farewell. She requested her most beautiful, shining best clothes for her to chose her last dance costume. Then she told the guards to bring her in their hands, place me in the middle of the carpet: nobody in the castle was to know she had had an accident. Her request was done.
Into the middle of the party, the middle of the chamber/carpet, 4 servants carried her sitting on a litter. Her head and face were covered to conceal hide her suffering.
Here she is, in the middle of the carpet: every time she would bring something new: she did not walk so everyone was intrigued/wondered what she would do. Amazed at her unusual entrance, everyone…Nobody could see her tears under the cover, she was crying from the physical pain in her arms and legs, seeing the king for the last time, the pain in her heart/soul. For the first  time in her life in the castle she began to speak a word to the guests;
Oh my king! her voice that was beautiful, but at the same time trembling/trembled, in this voice was full of suffering and loss/separation.
This my dance is for your attention. I will dance it for the first time: I name it LAZGI. This is the dance of farewell/parting/separation.  
Before her eyes, she recalled the snake fighting between life and death. She was in the situation: unbelievable pain. Her love for the king was stronger than her agony. She does not want to die without seeing him for a last time.
From under her scarf/cover, she gazed long at the king’s face, enjoying him. The cruel musicians might have given her more time to enjoy her last look at the king, butr they interrupted her. Started the music for the dance.
Her broken arms slowly rose/lifted into the air, and her body began to move like a snake, which was so painful. She bit her lips and the tears streamed from her eyes; but nobody could see that. Her body was as if on fire, burning, but she did not stop, her dance becoming faster, faster. The people were shocked: never seen a dance like this before. Nobody realized this was the last dance of her life.  
Then, the human tongue was not good enough to describe this incredible dance. As the music and dance rose to a climax, like a guitar string snapping she fell to the floor, like flower torn up and flung aside. The king jumped up. Everyone was shocked. The angel was dead, overwhelmed by the pain. At the same time however, the dance Lazgi was born and became famous throughout the entire world.
Many years passed after this story; the ages….but the Lazgi still talking about the angel who brought this dance into being/the world. Lazgi is a dance of loss and separation.


Music…
Love….
Suffering….
What is it that draws them all together?
Is it something spiritual, a gift from above?….from God?


The End

Tuesday 16 November 2010

ASAR

ASAR
Alamlarimni qog'ozdan olibmi yoki  dardimni qog'ozga to'kibsochsam  yuragimdagi yaralarim engil tortadi deb fikr qilibmi bilmadim  yozaverdim... Tunda uyqularim yoqotib yozdim, kundayam yolg'izligimdan  
yozaverdim, yo'ldayam avtobus, poezd, metroda, samalyotda...  
yozaverdim. Hech qachon, hech kimga hatto eng yaqinimga ham  
aytmaganlarimni yozdim. Hammasini yozdim, yurak yuragimdagi yillab  
yotgan dardlarni so'zga bulab yozdim. Goho yig'lab, goho ho'rsinib bazan shirin orzularga, hom hayollarga berilib tabbasum ila yozdim. Endi buni Kitob qilib chop etsam o'qiganlar ko'zi yoshga,
bag'ri  rahmga to'lib, og'ir  dardimdan chuqur chuqur ho'rsinib o'qiwlariga  
amin edim. Har bir yozilgan varaqni qayta qayta o'qib chiqaverdim. Har  
o'qiganimda dilmni alam, sog'inch, armon o'rtayverdi. Ko'zlarimni  
jiqqa jiqqa yoshga bulg'ayverdi... Nihoyat bir kun o'zimga o'zim  
"Bo'ldi, dunyoda bitta fojeali yurak bo'lsa shuncha bo'larda" dedimda  
mungli asarimni nihoyasiga etkazishga ahd qildim. Shunday qildim ham.
Endi asarimga nom berish kerak edi, oylab o'tirmay asarni nomini  
"Men Seni Sevaman" deb atadim....
O'ylanib qoldim... endi bu kitobni o'qiwdan Nima foyda? 10 yildan  
buyon yozayotgan asarimni butun ma'nosi shu ekan holos:
Men seni  sevaman... Qolganlari e'sa shunchaki ehtiros holos...
Mahzun.